ShadowMeTeresa

This series of posts originally started with a question from a friend about dealing with nightmares. While there are many other things you can do once you start having lucid dreams, I’ll deal with this next, since it was what originally started me down the path of lucid dreaming as a child.

OK, let’s say you can remember your dreams, you know your particular nightmare inside and out, and you’ve succeeding in finding a way to realize that you’re in it when you’re in it (or maybe you could already do that with this particular dream). Now what? In my case, it was a while before I figured out what to do. At first, I ineffectually tried to keep the spiders from descending by thinking them away, but that never worked.

Eventually, I hit on the idea of waking myself up. It turns out that this is one of the easier things to do when in a nightmare (actually changing its course is much harder). Though it doesn’t let you change your dream, it does give you a certain power over it by being able to make it stop when you choose to. This seems to short-circuit it and eventually you may have the dream less often.

At this point, let’s make a short digression into nightmares, and the reasons (or lack thereof) for their existence. A nightmare may somehow represent a major issue you have to deal with, in which case, waking yourself up from it may not be as effective as working through the issue with a counselor, friend, or other resource.

Some nightmares, however, just seem to represent archetypal scariness, like my childhood dreams about spiders. Others may be caused by post-traumatic stress or anxieties over events long past, which serve no purpose in the present day and probably occur because these events have burned memories into our brains. Both of these kinds of nightmares have no particular benefit and you might as well banish them if you can.

Alright, here we are and the spiders are descending. How to wake up? At first, I just yelled at myself to wake up! wake up! This didn’t usually work. As far as my brain was concerned, I was already awake (in the dream). What eventually worked for me, with quite a bit of practice, was more of a visualization exercise.

I would visualize myself, lying asleep on my bed, dreaming this dream. Then I would think of myself opening my eyes – I would focus on just that one thing, willing my eyes to open. This caused all sorts of interesting results. Sometimes my physical eyes would open, but it would still take a while to actually wake up – sunlight or some kind of light in the room helps with this, as that tends to trigger a waking reflex anyway.

Sometimes I would come to consciousness or half-consciousness with my eyes still closed, like an inner set of eyes had opened but not the outer ones. Fair warning – there is a state of semi-consciousness where the mind is aware but the body cannot yet move. That can be frightening in and of itself, as there is also a tendency to hear strange noises in this state, but be unable to do anything about it.

Just know that all of these intermediate states improve with practice -and are almost always better than being in the nightmare. Eventually it is possible to snap awake at will, and it becomes more of a reflex than anything, as soon as you realize you’re in a nightmare. When you get to that point, it is worth the trip, because then you have real control over what you choose to experience or not.

The other night I even had a dream sequence that was just plain annoying. The plot was useless, it wasn’t related to anything real, and it was actually just boring. Partway through the dream, I remember thinking, this is pointless, and woke up. Told myself I would dream about something else when I went back to sleep, and I did :)

Once we can remember our dreams by day, the next step in working with dreams is being able to tell you’re in them while you’re asleep and dreaming. Most of us go through dreams thinking they’re real, or maybe not thinking anything at all, just experiencing. Often we have a sensation of disorientation when waking when we suddenly realize that what we were just doing, feeling, or thinking isn’t real, the situation is actually nothing like that, and the wonderful or terrible thing that was just happening fades into oblivion. Profound relief or disappointment can follow, or just a sense of puzzlement.

Remembering your dreams, and especially the part where you consciously experience the state between dreaming and waking, starts to blur the lines between the two states and allows for more exercise of consciousness while dreaming. You don’t have to do anything special to make this happen, it just does. On the other hand, if you’re in a hurry to get better at it, there may be some things you can do to improve this skill.

Start with a recurring dream, as these are ones you are most likely to be able to recognize while you’re in them. Whether good or bad, these can be used for practice. If used with a nightmare, it may help you eventually “cure” them, or learn to deal with them effectively. If used with a nicer dream, you may eventually be able to direct your experience in that dream and enjoy it more fully.

Pick out a detail or two to focus on that is always or almost always a part of the dream. It helps if it’s a nonsensical detail, something that couldn’t happen in daily life. Before you go to bed each night, preferably when you are relaxed and approaching dreamstate, tell yourself that if you see that detail in a dream, you will know you are in a dream and that what you are experiencing isn’t real. Make that detail a trigger and imagine your consciousness coming on line as soon as you see that part of your dream. Actually see yourself in the dream realizing that it is a dream and having full awareness of that fact.

While it may not work the very first time, keep reinforcing this idea each night before you go to bed. When you wake up and are working on remembering your dreams, note details of them that could have triggered a realization that this is a dream and not real (something that couldn’t be true or wouldn’t be happening in “real” life).

Eventually, you will have your first realization that you are in a dream. It may be a bit frustrating at first, because initially it can be hard to do anything with this except observe the dream with a different state of consciousness. Making the dream do anything different can be difficult at first, particularly if it is a dream with well-ingrained pathways in your mind. Trust that eventually it can be done, and at least enjoy the realization that you’ve succeeded in this step. Don’t forget to write down this aspect of your dream when you wake up!

A friend recently asked me how you learn to wake up from nightmares. It can be done, but it does take practice. I wrote a bit about this in a previous post, but it was a bit stream-of-consciousness. Here, I’ll try to summarize the steps toward lucid dreaming, which is the key to dealing with nightmares, and has a host of other interesting uses as well.

Step 1. Remember your dreams. One of the most important steps in working with dreams in any way is to be able to remember them. While it might not seem like this could help you while you’re in a dream, it does. Being able to remember your dreams when you’re awake somehow helps you become more aware that you’re in a dream while you’re dreaming. The line between dreaming and waking becomes less absolute, which is a good thing. Most people go through their lives remembering almost none of their dreams, losing all the insights their dreams can bring, not to mention being helpless within them.

Remembering your dreams is basically just a matter of practice, day in and day out (or night, as it may be). If you’re the journaling type, keep a notebook beside your bed. Every time you wake up, and I do mean every time, stop and think about what you were just dreaming about. If possible, do this before you move your body or even open your eyes – there is a state of semi-consciousness just before fully awakening that is very conducive to dream retention, but dreams fade within a matter of minutes after that.

Take that time to go over and over your dream in your mind – everything you can remember about it, no matter how strange or meaningless. Take the time to go through the various senses – did you dream in color or black and white? Could you smell, feel, or taste anything? You might be surprised that your other senses can be engaged in a dream. Once you have your dream cemented in your memory, get up and write it down.

If you’re not the type that likes to journal (I’m not), come back to your dream several times throughout the day and see if you can still remember all the details. If you have a spouse, friend, or family member that’s interested in this, tell them all about your dream, or trade dreams (telling someone else helps imprint it in our memories). Do this for as many different dreams a night as you can remember, and every day. With practice, remembering your dreams will become much easier.

If you’re having nightmares that you want to start working with, start with those. Most of us have, or have had, recurring nightmares that we can remember with much greater accuracy than most of our dreams. This may be because the adrenaline rush that occurs while in these dreams has a way of imprinting memories in our minds, whether awake or asleep. Start by remembering all the details you can in a waking state, then add to them each time you have the dream. This is the prelude to Step 2 – knowing when you’re in a dream.