Motivation vs. Exhaustion

I had a funny experience the other day; I was doing a tarot reading for someone else, when two cards came up that just made me laugh because they are so indicative of my life right now. I have long suspected the tarot does this – you often get requests for readings that give you messages you yourself need.

The cards in question are from Mark McElroy’s Bright Ideas deck, which doesn’t look exactly like a tarot deck. He developed it in part for corporate brainstorming, and so the images are quite a bit more modern than a traditional deck. In any case, here are the two cards I drew:

Ace of Cups equivalent – the seed of your heart’s desire

Crossing Card (Obstacles or Challenges):
Ten of Wands equivalent – duties and responsibilities weighing heavily; time to let go of burdens and move on

Get the drift? :D

Here I am all fired up about a new project – an online mediation business that I hope to start within the next month (more on that later as the website gets developed) and the feeling that the mediation/facilitation career I’ve been working toward for so long is finally coming through. I’m very, very motivated to start something new.

On the other hand, I am literally chained to my desk with work related to the end of the fiscal biennium for the state – everyone wants their projects done before the end of the month, and it’s almost more work than I can physically do. That’s normal for the end of the biennium, but it’s rough, all the same. Especially when I am trying to sneak in work on my website at the same time!

Well, one more week of this and I hope to be done with the State projects. Then I have federal projects that will keep me working at almost the same pace through the end of the year – a little more free time, but not much.

This is not the first time I’ve been trying to start one career while still working at another. It is exhausting. But I hope to be diminishing those piles of paper and finishing up some things I’ve been working on almost 10 years. It will feel good to have left something productive behind for others to use, and to move onto something new – hopefully next year.


2 thoughts on “Motivation vs. Exhaustion

  1. judithornot says:

    Can especially relate to the desire to leave something productive behind for others to use. It’s related to the idea of leaving things better than you found them, and am sure you are doing that, Teresa! :-)

  2. Soulwright says:

    I just love those kinds of synchronicities and how wise you are to have gotten the drift. As Campbell says, when we follow our Bliss, invisible hands reach out to support us and doors magically appear in solid walls. I see your emerging mediation practice struggling to be born and everything is progressing right on schedule due to your focused labor.

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